Splish Splash
by Thorn In Your Side
Summary: Yuu was taking a bath, alone on a Saturday night. A rub-dub, just relaxin' in his tub, thinkin' everything was alright. Well he stepped out the tub, put his feet on the floor, he wrapped a towel round and opened the door--and jumped back.


**Splish Splash**

**Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray-man.**

**A/N: I love this song so much, it's obscene. I love this pairing so much, it's also obscene. **

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

Steam coiled above the water and Yuu's body in small, suave curls. A lengthy, breathy sigh escaped the brunet as he sunk lower into his bath, clear bubbles tickling his chin.

Oh yeah. Kanda took bubble baths. They just made him that much more badass.

The watermelon soap though, that maybe negated the effect a bit. Still, no one would call the man a pussy.

Ella Fitzgerald crooned to him from the boombox on the counter. The mirror slowly fogged up and Yuu sighed that long sigh again.

Hmmm. Ella's voice seemed a little…off tonight. The twenty two year old frowned to himself. It was almost like…like…she was accompanied by the heavy beats of a salsa song?

Kanda stood up in the tub. Luckily, there was no one in the bathroom to faint at the sight of his impressive 'nads, and even if there were someone, he'd probably knock their lights out before they got the chance to swoon. He wrapped a towel round his waist and opened the door, intended to tell his roomie to turn the volume down…

…and slammed it again, his heart thumping painfully in his chest. He thought of opening the door, just to check and make sure, thought better of it, and reached for his mobile. Bless cell phone addictions severe enough to have your mobile with you even in the loo. He dialed Lavi's number impatiently and waited for the redhead to pick up.

"Yuu!" the slurred greeting was heard a few rings later, "Baby, what is _**up!?**_"

"You tell me, Lavi," Kanda said silkily, "Why is there a party in our apartment?"

"Fucking A, man! How'd you find out? I thought I'd invited everyone who'd blab—eh, Komui! Is the Brit brat here?"

"Yes," the Jap's voice yelled in the background, "Allen-kun's taking care of my baby sister!"

"Right," Allen muttered into the phone, and Kanda swore he could smell the stink of beer, "Allen's taking _**real **_good care of Lenalee. The two of them snuck out just now…wait. Did _**he **_tell you?"

"I'm in the bathroom, you dipshit! I'm taking a bath, I open the door, and I see Road Camelot, of all people, grinding against Marian-fucking-Cross!"

"Fucking A _**again. **_That man's women get younger as he gets older, I swear to every twisted deity that patron a bad boy like me. Wait, did you say you were in the bathroom? Are you naked?"

"Lavi, you fag!"

"Fag you're sleeping with."

"Just get the fuck in here, and _**bring me some clothes!**_" Kanda snapped and hung up. He wiped some of the water on the mirror away and scowled at his wet reflection.

"What're you making a face at, you fuckin' dipshit?" he demanded.

The bathroom door shook as something slammed itself against it. Yuu facepalmed and jerked it open as Lavi built up momentum to break it in with his shoulder again. The brunet sidestepped, the redhead thundered in, and the door shut close.

"You didn't bring clothes!" Kanda accused.

"You _**are **_naked!" Lavi exclaimed.

"Lavi, so help me, I'm gonna shove your fuckin' ass out the window."

"Yeah right," Lavi said, "Let's have sex, Yuu."

"Take a cold shower, asshole."

Lavi said, "Okay," and jumped into the tub. He turned on the shower and the already full tub began to overflow. Kanda swore at him and reached into the water to pull the drain-stopper, and Lavi grabbed his chance. A slim finger snaked into the brunet's bare bum—the towel had been discarded some time ago—and Kanda yelped. He straightened up, or would have if his head hadn't connected painfully with the faucet.

"God fucking _**ow!**_"

"What hurts?" Lavi asked innocently.

"My head, you freaking moron! I'm gonna _**kill **_you, Lavi! …As soon as I figure out which of you three is the real you."

"Want me to kiss it better?" Lavi coaxed Kanda into the tub and touched lightly on his dick. "Your _**head, **_I mean."

"Fuck—"

The redhead leaned down and kissed Kanda's shaft, and the brunet's knees buckled. He hit his head again on his way into the water, this time on the edge of the tub, and Lavi was drunk enough to think it was funny. He laughed. Kanda swore.

Someone knocked at the door.

"I'm in here!" the two lovers yelled at the same time, and the satin voice of Tyki Mikk answered, "…Both of you? Nice. I'd join in, but the Earl says I'm under house arrest if Road has sex with anyone tonight. Either of you seen her?"

Lavi thought about it. "I think Yuu saw her dancing with Cross."

"…Allen's guardian?"

"Yeah."

"That pedophile! If he puts one hand on my niece, I swear—"

And then Lavi stopped caring. "Yuu," he whined, "Either you have sex with me in here or you dance with me out there!"

"Get me some clothes," Kanda groaned, "I'll dance."

"Sweet!" Lavi shrieked, and went for his boyfriend's phone. The brunet stood up shakily, holding his head, and clicked off Ella Fitzgerald's jazzy tunes.

Lavi was blabbing to Komui. "Get clothes, anything, okay? Bottom only. Yuu's going topless tonight."

And Kanda's headache cranked up another notch.

It was going to be a long night.

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

**Accompaniment oneshot: "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow", with smut, coming soon to a computer screen near you. :D **

**I love fifties music~**


End file.
